Still the fat girl...

I don't get it, I really don't.  I'm here in my closet cleaning it out and found a bag...a bag of my old jeans sizes vary from 18 to(yikes)20!  I'm standing here crying.

Why?

Because guys STILL see me as a friend.  I WORKED my ass off but still I am deemed "friends" status only among other things.  What am I doing wrong?  I have been nice and happy towards everyone.  I know, I know, I don't need a man in my life but I still want to be the girl thats seemed "wanted" instead of "Oh you are just a good friend". 

I decided that I'll probably go back on HCG and lose the rest of the weight and when guys that looked at me as a friend now want me its too.damn.bad.

I'm done with this, I'm done being the fat girl, I thought I wasn't the fat girl anymore but I still am, and will continue to be til I am 130 lbs and I will do ANYTHING to get there.

I have realized lately that most guys don't want fat girls and I want to shove my eventually skinny self in their faces and tell them to kiss off.

Its been 10 years..

I remember that day.  I was scared as hell in the stirrups when the doctor was doing a colposcopy on me.  I later figured out I was misdiagnosed with HPV so afterwards I was sore and ready to just go home and go to bed.  I came out of the room and my mom was in the waiting room watching the news.  We were living in Germany at the time so when it happened at 9 a.m. it was around 2 p.m. I think.  She said that a plane hit a building but we weren't sure what was going on.  We were going home and a friend had called and said a plane hit another building and then we were sure that something was wrong.  We went home and watched the news and saw exactly what was going on.  From then on out everything changed.

If you lived overseas during this time it was not only scary but everyone was on edge and for good reason.  We were shut down, cars were checked, everything had to be.  When you thought living in America was safe, you were wrong, unfortunately nowhere is safe.

We always should remember and never forget.

30 day blog challenge~Day three

Day 3-Whats in your purse?

Whats NOT in my purse?

I have a 4 year old daughter and 6 year old son I have to be prepared for ANYTHING!

I have(by memory because my bag(or what my friend Bri calls "diaper bag") is upstairs:

Wallet with many cards
a pencil case that holds pens, gum, chapstick, knick knacks
a little bag that holds a contact case and a mini bottle of solution(my eyes are always drying out)
a folder that I keep when I need to go to an appointment or need paperwork for anything
a beauty case that I keep if I stay over at a friends house
pullups/panties for Lila
stickers/toys
liquid drink mix I put in water
craisins(trying to eat healthier!)

I probably left out a few others but this is what I remember having in it

30 day blog challenge~Day two

ugh such a procrastinator but I'm going to keep on this!

Meaning behind your blog name

I chose this name after my ex and I split up.  I wanted to write about my journeys as an army wife, good and bad and reflect on them.  I'm currently working on an entirely new blog which I plan on moving everything to when I get more time to do it!