Saturday, July 30, 2011

Today I cried

An FYI I deactivated my facebook, I did not delete it, I needed to be without it for awhile I will return later.

Not because I've been divorced for two weeks now but because I need some soul searching.  I was tired of venting on Facebook mainly because everyone was telling me to get over it and quit looking for pity...since when does having a bad day and wanting to post it on your OWN profile equal to wanting pity?  Sometimes things I say are a cry out for help not pity but I'm too stubborn to ask for it.  I been drowning myself in not very healthy things these past few months..well since I was separated from my now ex and since we are divorced I can speak of some now.

Food...(ok, that is not one of the secrets)
Alcohol and soldiers do not mix(yes, thats the secret I had, you figure it out)

Starving myself some days, gorging the next

Should I go on?  Yeah, didn't think so. 

So before you all go on about how I'm looking for pity you all can kiss off because I'm trying to deal with everything the best way I can and I'm now seeing that I really had no support, I been doing this all and dealing with everything MYSELF so thanks for nothing.  Thanks for a few that thought that going back to my ex was better for me because you didn't want me around, thanks for thinking that the only reason why I left my ex was so I could go have fun with other men.

Thanks to a few family members who thought talking down to me was better than being there for me.  No ONE really has no idea what I'm thinking or feeling you all assume stupid things just so that way you can make me feel bad but ya know what?  Noone can make me feel bad without my permission and now you don't have my permission any longer because I'm going to make it, I will make it because the longer you degrade me, the stronger I will get.

Don't worry about me, I will get through it without you.

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