Still the fat girl...

I don't get it, I really don't.  I'm here in my closet cleaning it out and found a bag...a bag of my old jeans sizes vary from 18 to(yikes)20!  I'm standing here crying.

Why?

Because guys STILL see me as a friend.  I WORKED my ass off but still I am deemed "friends" status only among other things.  What am I doing wrong?  I have been nice and happy towards everyone.  I know, I know, I don't need a man in my life but I still want to be the girl thats seemed "wanted" instead of "Oh you are just a good friend". 

I decided that I'll probably go back on HCG and lose the rest of the weight and when guys that looked at me as a friend now want me its too.damn.bad.

I'm done with this, I'm done being the fat girl, I thought I wasn't the fat girl anymore but I still am, and will continue to be til I am 130 lbs and I will do ANYTHING to get there.

I have realized lately that most guys don't want fat girls and I want to shove my eventually skinny self in their faces and tell them to kiss off.

My weight loss so far

After I lost about 60 lbs I now tell people I lost another 150 lbs since divorcing my husband.  I think the entire 210 lb weight loss made me feel like a new woman altogether.  I'm still angry and sad that it came to this but I think it will make me a better person and mom in the long run.

My sister and I at her wedding reception..we are cute! :)